


Zombies, Angsty Teenagers, and New York City--One Shot

by activatethetightpants



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, M/M, One Shot, There's zombie death, Zombie AU, Zombies, not really fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-22
Updated: 2014-05-22
Packaged: 2018-01-26 01:42:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1670072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/activatethetightpants/pseuds/activatethetightpants
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nico and Percy reenact parts of Zombieland.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Zombies, Angsty Teenagers, and New York City--One Shot

**Author's Note:**

> This is the scene https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgsNFGER7HE cos I was like "hell yeah" when I rewatched it soooo
> 
> This is my way of saying "crap crap crap what am i going to write next in the actual thing" 
> 
> So here's some drabble while I think :D 
> 
> ANY SUGGESTIONS ARE WELCOME LIKE PLS

            “I cannot _believe_ you’re doing this.”

            “It’s really important.”

            “It is _not_.”

            “Don’t you _dare_ insinuate Twinkies are unimportant.”

            Nico groans and leans against the brick wall of the supermarket as Percy works to pry the doors open. “I just don’t see why they’re more important than, like, our lives and stuff.”

            “They just _are_.”

            “That’s awfully reassuring, Perc, but see, here’s the thing,” Nico says, pushing off the wall as Percy forces the doors open enough to slide through. “I’m not really in the mood to risk my life for you to get a sugar trip.  So if you don’t mind, I think I’ll just…stay out here…or…” He shoves his hands in his pockets. “Stop looking at me like that.”

            “Like what?”

            Nico gesticulates vaguely. “The whole _kicked puppy_ thing.  It’s gross.”

            Percy’s pout intensifies sevenfold. “Is not!”

            “Hella gross.”

            Percy gives him a gentle shove. “Are you _really_ going to make me go in there all on my own?”

            Nico glances in.  It’s dark as the abyss in there.  He knows anything could be waiting for Percy in the shadows and, without his verbal reprimand, Percy would have a very difficult time stopping it.  You can’t stop what you can’t see, after all.

            Nico sighs. “Let’s go.”

The things you do for love.

            Percy beams and leads the way. “Now, I’ve never been in a Blaine’s Grocery before, so I’ve got no idea where the Twinkies are.  We should split up.”

            “Have you never seen a horror movie?”

            “What?”

            “Like, the dumb blonde chick is always like ‘we should split up’ and then she dies.  Do you want to be the dumb blonde chick who always dies?”

            “Yeah, if it means I’ll get the Twinkies faster.”

            “God, how have you survived on your own for so long?”

            “Dumb luck and good looks, not gonna lie.”

            Nico cannot dispute that Percy possesses both.

            “Well,” he murmurs, glancing around in the dark, “how about this.  I’ll take the dark sections, you take what’s lit by the doors.  You have a flashlight?”

            “Yup.”

            Nico sticks his hand out. “Lemme use it while we’re at this, okay?  Call me over if you find your dumb cream cakes.”

            “KreamKakes are totally different than Twinkies.”

            “ _Oh, shut up_.”

            And, with only a little more bickering, they go their separate ways.

            Percy scours the cereal section thoroughly before deciding that there are not, in fact, any Twinkies there.  He moves over into one of the slightly darker aisle and starts digging through pet supplies.

            Nico’s taking a more plotted course.  He actually checks the signs hanging above the aisle for their contents.  When he comes to “snacks”, he investigates more thoroughly.

            It takes a little bit, but eventually he uncovers an intact box of Twinkies.  He looks them over quickly, ensuring no mice have gnawed their way into them, and allows himself a smile.  These will make Percy happy.  Even if just for a moment, these will make him happy.

            He tucks them away in his jacket and, in the process, drops the flashlight.  It clatters loudly to the ground and rolls a few feet away.  Nico curses softly and stoops to pick it up, casting the beam quickly around.

            A grunt from behind him makes him wheel on the balls of his feet.  Swaying at the end of the aisle is, of course, a zombie.  It has smeared cake all over its front and its hair is sticking up at odd angles due to all the icing in it.

            Nico backs away a little, grabbing for the pipe on his belt.  It’s stuck firmly in place, however, and when the creature begins to lope toward him, it becomes obvious this is a Rager.  No gentle words will soothe this big hawse.

            Nico backs up, watching it fearfully. “Percy!” he shouts, darting out of the hall and down in front of the registers.

            Percy looks up from a pile of chew toys. “Neeks?  What’s the matter?”

            Nico hears where his voice is coming from and darts down his hall.  The hulk of a zombie comes crashing after him.

            Percy readies Riptide.

            Nico’s hugging the box of Twinkies now. “Don’t swing don’t swing don’t swing!” he chants as he races toward him, the creature gaining quickly.  At the last possible second, he drops to his knees and slides by Percy. “Swing!”

            Percy lodges the machete in the jaw of the zombie in one swift motion.  It grunts in dying and, quickly, drops to the ground.  Percy pries his machete out of its head, his heart racing.

            Nico’s not much better.  He stands shakily, holding onto the cardboard box so hard his fingers are about to pierce it.  He shoves the box against Percy’s chest. “I-I hope it was worth it.”

            Percy looks over the box. “These are totally crushed.”

            Nico punches him in the arm. “You shithead.”

**Author's Note:**

> Like seriously, if you have theories or things you want to see, leave them in the comments. I need some fodder.


End file.
